View of Berat, Albania.
Where are Kevin and Ruth now? Berat, Albania.

Where are Kevin and Ruth going next? South towards Greece.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Woman's Point of View

Thank you to everyone who is sending in comments, it is great to hear from you, and see the way you look at things, so please keep them coming.  Also if you ever have a topic you would like us to discuss don't hestitate to post a comment or send us an email.

The other day Kevin let everyone know why we don't own a house anymore.  Today, I thought I would give you a female point of view on making the decision to become fulltimers.

I think women tend to have a harder time making this decision and being attached to more of the material stuff that goes with owning a house than men.  I know that I had a bit more of an issue with it than Kevin.  He was ready to jump on board when we realized that we could actually do this.  I was a little more hesitant.  I loved our house and what we had done to it, I had always thought of it as being a place where the grandchildren (when we have them) would enjoy coming to play.  I had made a beautiful garden and was still working on it and loved working on it, but never really had the time to do it.  I didn't know what we would do with our then 15 year old cat as she was part of the family, but I knew she wouldn't enjoy the motorhoming life.  The hardest part was making the decision to leave my Mom and Dad.  My Mom had Alzheimer's disease but still lived at home, with my Dad looking after her.  I felt guilty about leaving them when I knew my help could be used.

Backyard garden just before selling our house in the fall of 2007

My Dad and Mum at their 50th Wedding Anniversary 2007

When I did make the decision, which really didn't take long because the travel and adventure in me won over, I felt totally okay with the idea and had no second thoughts.  I was ready and raring to go and clean the house and get rid of most of our wordly possessions.  Kevin's sister had agreed to take Molly our cat (who is now almost 18) for us, and I think that has worked out well for both of them.  All of a sudden, the house didn't mean so much.  I thought about all the work and money that had to go into looking after it and I thought to myself that now I can relax more and enjoy things that I never really made the time for before.  I decided that instead of missing the garden so much, I would enjoy looking at other peoples gardens and how different they are in various climate zones and admire all the flowers.  All those items that I would never part with before because I always thought I would have a use for them one day, didn't mean anything to me anymore.  There were some items that I just could not part with so those went into storage at Kevin's sister's house in her basement.  As for grandchildren, well they will have the chance to meet us where ever we may be in the world when that time comes, and it will always give us the excuse to go visit them.  With my Mom, I still had second thoughts, but I knew with this disease that it could go on for years, so I decided that when things got bad we could come back and stay to help when it was really needed, and I knew that I was only a quick email and airplane ride away, if I ever needed to be home fast.  My mum did pass away last September, but we were here from May until then to help my Dad and visit my Mom. Even though we are in Kingston, it is only a 2 hour drive and all last summer I went to their place almost every week and stayed for a few days each time.  I have also been there for my Dad since then. And other than March, we will be around until this fall when we will start our trip south again.

Molly our cat, who now lives with Kevin's sister Elaine

So as you can see there are always many things to look at, but it the long run I think living your dream, as our readers George and Suzie put it, is more important than all the material stuff.  As for family they are a phone call or airplane ride away.  It could give them a chance to get away and visit you somewhere warm.  Sometimes you just have to go for it!  I can honestly say I have not regrets and lots of memories and that this was the right decision.


  1. Nice to hear the steps you took to get where you are today. My condolences on the passing of your mother. And leaving behind Molly must have been a tough choice too. But all in all, you folks are doing what you are meant to do. Us too sometime soon-- Thanks for sharing!

    Karen and Steveio

  2. Hi Ruth. Wow....that was an awesome post !! You really touched on a lot of the things that we discuss. We agree, that it seems to be harder for the "nest-builder", than for us guys. But, we also know that some sacrifices are worth it ! We also are caught in the sandwich generation....helping out our kids, and now looking after our parents. But, what really helps, is posts like this, that offer solutions to problems, and the reassurance that it is all worth it. And besides, nothing is absolute...we can always make changes along the way, right !! Thanks again !!

  3. Hi, I'm Lindsey. I'm Kevin and Ruth Daughter. I'll now give you my point of view!

    When I first heard about my parents doing this CRAZY adventure (that's really what I thought it was at first) I was very upset due to the fact that I grew up there, and that I wouldn't be able to see it one last time (I now live in Nova Scotia with my husband). It took me a very long time to accept the fact that when I go back to Ottawa I wouldn't have a "home" to go to. I normally stay with my grandfather now and visit everyone else.
    I also had a really heard time dealing with the fact that I couldn't call them when I wanted to talk to them. Also the point that my mom had about grandchildern visiting and having a place to play.

    After time I realized that my parents are having the time of their lives and enoying it while they're still younger. I've thought about it to the point that Justin and i will have talked about doing the same thing when our kids (in the future) are all grown up and moved out that we will carry on the same traveling bug.

    Now they're normally down south and only a cheap plane ride awat!

  4. Hi Lindsey. It's nice to "meet" you !! What a great idea to share your gives us a new perspective. Our two children are the same age as you and your brother. They don't believe us when we tell them our plans....ya, right, they say. We sure wish they were in their own homes, instead of in small apartments, because we have a ton of stuff to get rid of. They both feel like we are deserting them, because they say that we are like a safety net to them, if they lose their jobs, or whatever, then they could move back home. I'm sure they will come around like you did in time. In fact, if my parents would have announced that they were selling the house, to go a'roamin', I would have felt the same way ! Anyway, thanks for posting, and best wishes to you and Justin !!


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